![]() ![]() Domestic violence survivors are the hidden victims of brain injury and covid has made it.'The shadow pandemic': Woman who fled domestic violence during lockdown speaks out.Maree needed crisis financial support to leave her abusive ex-husband, but she wasn't eligible for it."Some things you just have to acknowledge that they are problematic and be compassionate with yourself that it's OK to still enjoy these things, as long as you are recognising the unsavoury elements." More stories: ![]() Guillaume still enjoys Gosling in The Notebook – "he's just so dang charming" – and Twilight, too, though it's hard. "And that same person might also be the person who could say, 'I see it as hugely problematic'." "There'll be people who go and watch Gone with the Wind and still get something out of it," Rosewarne says, referring to the Disney classic that was recently the subject of a racism scandal. Neither Guillaume nor Dr Rosewarne think you should cross those favourite rom-coms off your comfort-viewing list. She says producers and creators should "use popular culture to demonstrate to men and boys that there are positive, caring and respectful ways of being a man and relating to women". And it's a beautiful scene."įor Kinnersly, this kind of change is important. "He's leaving the ball in Blue's court over whether he feels safe and comfortable to meet him there. ![]() ![]() "He says, 'I'll be on the Ferris wheel waiting for you. The difference is that rather than Simon forcing the hand of Blue, his anonymous pen pal, he tells Blue to meet him at the Ferris wheel if he wants to. The latter, released in 2017, has its own Ferris wheel scene. Newer romantic comedies like To All The Boys I've Loved Before and Love, Simon have featured romantic gestures that don't trod on women's agency or set up a pursuer/pursued binary. Take the famous cue cards scene in Love, Actually. There's Simon Baker's character in The Devil Wears Prada, an idealised man-of-letters who keeps kissing Anne Hathaway's character, despite her protests, until she finally gives in.Īnd it's not just the "Determinator", as the website TV Tropes labels them - the dogged pursuer who won't take no for an answer. There's Sylvester Stallone's eponymous character in Rocky, who badgers Adrian to come inside his house, dismisses her when she says she's uncomfortable, then forces himself on her. These storylines are everywhere in popular culture. "And that just that encourages stalking and harassment and removes women's agency and ability to consent." It's not just The Notebook "It normalises men not respecting women's right to say no and it normalises the idea that if you keep harassing a woman, essentially, she'll eventually say yes," says Jenna Guillaume, the author of two YA romantic comedies. In the past few years, pop culture creators have recognised that underpinning this kind of scene is a harmful set of behaviours. She just doesn't know it yet.īut this trope is now being challenged. This is an example of a male character who is relentless in his pursuit of a woman, and whose obsession is framed in the narrative as the righteousness of true love. Then he makes it out like it was emphatically her idea. "Will you or will you not go out with me? I think my hand's slipping." "I'm gonna ask you one more time," he says. When she knocks him back, twice - because, presumably, who the heck is this guy climbing the Ferris wheel? - he basically threatens to fall to his death unless she submits. ![]()
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